Monday, January 29, 2007

Wife first Mommy Second

Hello folks.. I was looking through some stuff on my computer and came across this article I had done up for another blog a short time ago. I thought it might create some chat on here. Let me hear what you have to say on this subject!!
Wife first Mommy second
Can you think back to those beautiful days of your courtship with your husband?
What a wonderful time. I can remember (and I still have them all in a box!!) the letters that my husband would write before we were married. He knew I liked tea so he used to send me tea bags in his letters. I remember the excitement of sitting beside him at chapel! I remember the first time we held hands. We shared a lot in those times about what kind of future we could see. Children were definetely high up on our list of things to do
After we said "I do" things just got better between my husband and I. We were now one. A constant friend. Someone to lavish my love on. He had my full attention… then it happened. We had a baby.. my attention.. diverted… and then we had another one… more attention … diverted… and now.. we are expecting another…do you see the pattern!?!?!
Obviously the Lord planned families this way.. husband and wife first.. then when that relationship was established he sends children. But what happens to that first relationship? Our husband wife relationship should be a top priority. Somehow from behind the mountain known as the laundry pile, and around the new carpet of "toys" and the sink pile of dishes we need to divert our attention back to our "first love" Our husbands!!
First, build your marriage on the foundation of Christ. Second, I don’t think there could be a more healthy thing for our children than to have mommies and daddies who are totally in love with eachother. And a love that shows even when the children are around! With a lot of one parent families and a divorce rate out of this world we have to take the time to make our families work. I believe a child can be more secure about themselves if their surroundings are secure.
I like to think of marriage like this, the word marriage could also be said like this "merry- age" It’s supposed to be a happy thing! So how do we keep it that way?
Think about this. How do we speak to our children about their dad? Do we always speak kindly of him or do we say things like. OH!! Your father is so..!!! Your Dad doesn’t know how to do anything right…?? The Bible speaks on this subject of our tongue. Blessed is the women who can keep her tongue!! When you are positive about your husband it gives your children every reason to think the same way.. and thus when dad comes home from work.. they will be glad to see this wonderful man mom talks about during the day. Not an ogre waiting to pounce on the first thing he sees!!
What about when your husband is happy. How does he then relate with his children? We all know how fun Dad can be. If we take the time to tend to our husbands specific needs he will be happier and so will we when we see him playing on the floor with the kids or out throwing snowballs in the back yard!! My marriage is not perfect (close) but not yet there! I have a few ideas that I have used trying to accomplish this task of diverting my attention back to my husband.
Don’t let a day go by without saying "I LOVE YOU!"
Do special things just for him. Make his favorite batch of cookies. Send him a love note in that lunch you pack for him!! Make the effort to be interested in how his day went. I try and pick a quieter moment in the evening.. for us it’s generally when little mouths are full at the supper table… to ask " how was work today"
Pray for him! Being a leader of your home is a great responsibility.
Date night. Need I say more??!! (but I will!) We haven’t been much for spending a great deal on expensive restaurants and elaborate nights out. Instead we have done other things that don’t cost and yes sometimes were held at home after the little ones are tucked in! Sometimes we’d get out a puzzle and some snacks and visit over a puzzle! Hey don’t knock it we have some nice puzzles hanging on our walls and a memorable night to go with it. Sometimes it might be a walk with the kids in the strollers.. did you know you can push a stroller with one hand and hold your husbands with the other. Sometimes I’ve taken the effort to create a personalized game or thing to do. This week we ended up putting the kids to bed and ordered in a pizza and watched Narnia and Loves enduring promise( picked by my husband)oh yeah.. he bought me flowers too when he went for the pizza and dvd’s!!
Well I suppose there’s lots that could be said. I would love to hear anyone else’s ideas on this subject!
God bless you and your husbands!
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11&12

1 comment:

Cammie said...

Thank you for visiting my blog, and my husbands. It is always a blessing to come across like minded families.: )
One thing I like to keep in mind for my husband is dressing in a way that pleases him. Ya see, I am much more comfy in my jammies, but that doesn't give him much to look at. He LOVES it when I dress in long flowy dresses and skirts. When I dress preaty it puts me in a more romantic mood and he knows I do it just for him.
Also, when there are projects I want him to do in our house or on our property I try to find a way to help or at least hang out, instead of sending him out to do it alone.
I loved your post, it is such a good reminder.

Thanks : )