Monday, January 29, 2007
Wife first Mommy Second
Hello folks.. I was looking through some stuff on my computer and came across this article I had done up for another blog a short time ago. I thought it might create some chat on here. Let me hear what you have to say on this subject!!
Wife first Mommy second
Can you think back to those beautiful days of your courtship with your husband?
What a wonderful time. I can remember (and I still have them all in a box!!) the letters that my husband would write before we were married. He knew I liked tea so he used to send me tea bags in his letters. I remember the excitement of sitting beside him at chapel! I remember the first time we held hands. We shared a lot in those times about what kind of future we could see. Children were definetely high up on our list of things to do
After we said "I do" things just got better between my husband and I. We were now one. A constant friend. Someone to lavish my love on. He had my full attention… then it happened. We had a baby.. my attention.. diverted… and then we had another one… more attention … diverted… and now.. we are expecting another…do you see the pattern!?!?!
Obviously the Lord planned families this way.. husband and wife first.. then when that relationship was established he sends children. But what happens to that first relationship? Our husband wife relationship should be a top priority. Somehow from behind the mountain known as the laundry pile, and around the new carpet of "toys" and the sink pile of dishes we need to divert our attention back to our "first love" Our husbands!!
First, build your marriage on the foundation of Christ. Second, I don’t think there could be a more healthy thing for our children than to have mommies and daddies who are totally in love with eachother. And a love that shows even when the children are around! With a lot of one parent families and a divorce rate out of this world we have to take the time to make our families work. I believe a child can be more secure about themselves if their surroundings are secure.
I like to think of marriage like this, the word marriage could also be said like this "merry- age" It’s supposed to be a happy thing! So how do we keep it that way?
Think about this. How do we speak to our children about their dad? Do we always speak kindly of him or do we say things like. OH!! Your father is so..!!! Your Dad doesn’t know how to do anything right…?? The Bible speaks on this subject of our tongue. Blessed is the women who can keep her tongue!! When you are positive about your husband it gives your children every reason to think the same way.. and thus when dad comes home from work.. they will be glad to see this wonderful man mom talks about during the day. Not an ogre waiting to pounce on the first thing he sees!!
What about when your husband is happy. How does he then relate with his children? We all know how fun Dad can be. If we take the time to tend to our husbands specific needs he will be happier and so will we when we see him playing on the floor with the kids or out throwing snowballs in the back yard!! My marriage is not perfect (close) but not yet there! I have a few ideas that I have used trying to accomplish this task of diverting my attention back to my husband.
Don’t let a day go by without saying "I LOVE YOU!"
Do special things just for him. Make his favorite batch of cookies. Send him a love note in that lunch you pack for him!! Make the effort to be interested in how his day went. I try and pick a quieter moment in the evening.. for us it’s generally when little mouths are full at the supper table… to ask " how was work today"
Pray for him! Being a leader of your home is a great responsibility.
Date night. Need I say more??!! (but I will!) We haven’t been much for spending a great deal on expensive restaurants and elaborate nights out. Instead we have done other things that don’t cost and yes sometimes were held at home after the little ones are tucked in! Sometimes we’d get out a puzzle and some snacks and visit over a puzzle! Hey don’t knock it we have some nice puzzles hanging on our walls and a memorable night to go with it. Sometimes it might be a walk with the kids in the strollers.. did you know you can push a stroller with one hand and hold your husbands with the other. Sometimes I’ve taken the effort to create a personalized game or thing to do. This week we ended up putting the kids to bed and ordered in a pizza and watched Narnia and Loves enduring promise( picked by my husband)oh yeah.. he bought me flowers too when he went for the pizza and dvd’s!!
Well I suppose there’s lots that could be said. I would love to hear anyone else’s ideas on this subject!
God bless you and your husbands!
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11&12
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Lessons in life
Other than that life has changed a bit here. We generally have a friday night Bible study with other believers here in Grand Falls-Windsor as Gander ( 1 hour away) is quite far to drive for an evening midweek meeting. Recently there has been a coupl and 1 single fellow who have been joining us. Leon seems to us to have the desires of a new born again believer and we praise the Lord for this. However he is quite a troubled man and needs quite a lot of guidance and encouragement which is for us becoming a challenge to know when to stay up to all hours of the night speaking with him or to call it quits for the night and speak on the subject again another night. So you can pray for Leon. Also recently the couple Calvin and Debbie that have been coming have needed more help as well and prayer!!! They both claim to be born again... Calvin's dad being an elder in a gospel hall out here.. but satan has got a hold of Calvin through drink violence and drugs. He recently went on a bit of a drinking spree and beat debbie which resulted in him being arrested and in custody where debbie cannot see him. They also have 4 children which have been in the hand of children's aid for several months now. Debbie desires to have them back and doesn't harbour hard feelings against Calvin. She has been staying with us the past few days now while Calvin is being now moved to St. John's either in the mental ward or to the penetentiary(?) This is sad as we would have liked to have opportunity to visit him and speak with him concerning the Lord. Please pray for us as we seek to help Debbie and for the spiritual aspects of this situation as well.
Also another incident as of late was my recent ultrasound. I think the Lord uses all kinds of situations to teach us valuable lessons in our walk with Him. .. So to set the scene(as they say! hehe).. I had spoke with Dave about him taking the day off to help with the kids and to come to the ultrasound.. he is quite busy at work as of late and they have had a few men paid quite a bit for every day they are there helping the company. Dave has been the one working with these fellows and needs to be there to get things done.. so he wasn't sure about the day off but said he'd try.. monday.. not sure about getting friday off.. tuesday.. not sure... wednesday.. not sure.. thursday... still not sure!! I only know 3 women in town that could have taken the children for me.. one was out of town.. the other was going out of town for the afternoon and as I found out later the other one was already busy babysitting elsewhere.... Friday morning came... Dave did not think it possible to take the day off.. (thank the Lord he did however have the opportunity to leave me the car!) So.. I had no choice but to take a 2 year old and a 1 year old to the ultrasound with me. I prayed. :) It was if nothing else to be calm! The lady stopped short and sternly told me what an inconvenience it was to have the other children in such an exam.. (didn't I know it!!) I felt bad but I didn't have much of a choice. So with John in the stroller and Chloe on a chair beside the bed she reluctantly proceeded. Part way through I could smell it... (yes moms you know that "smell" ) what could I do but hope for the best... she didn't for some reason want to sit on her chair anymore.. so Chloe got down and began to wander in the room playing in the curtain hanging from the ceiling.. John began to cry.. and fuss... Chloe banged her head on something while playing in the curtain.. I thought at this point I could almost see steam coming from the lady's ears..(and was that blush she was wearing or the red of frustration?) She did however manage to get the ultrasound done... with an abrupt.. you're done.. with children screaming and fussing.. a poopy diaper to tend with and a super full bladder to empty.. she did not allow me to see the baby on the screen nor had I time to wait to buy a picture... I came home and put the children to bed and cried. I was quite disappointed... upset? hurt? wasn't this just the worst most terriblest thing that ever could have happened.. OR was it??? I checked my email and found dave had emailed from work to see how it went... should i tell him!! hehe i did and then I took a nap.. After this I began to look at the fact that.. my world had not ended.. life was no different now than it had been hours earlier before this exam.. This "disaster" had not affected or deterred the work of God nor had his kingdom suffered any loss.. what seemed to me sooo important.. was in the light of eternity.. quite small.. I know that God cares for me.. and in this disappointment has comforted me with his word and presence. So I think for me the lesson learned is that even though it was a disappointment.. I can trust God to work things out for the good, for those who love God. ... So I have no ultrasound picture to show but I have one more lesson learned on the road which is called life!!!
Have a blessed day all
Love Amy
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Well, I only managed ONE picture from Bev Bondt's(Clarke's) wedding! But, it does prove i was there! She was absolutely gorgeous and the ceremony was the nicest i have seen. I was quite pleased and shocked to find that Ross Kearney, an old friend from KLBC (Kawartha Lakes Bible College) took the wedding ceremony! (Except for the official ring part which the pastor of their church i believe did) . She had christmas trees with white lights sparkling behind her as the ceremony took place. They had a unique candle lighting part where the mothers light a single candle each and then Bev and Joseph took each candle, representing themselves and lit the candle in the middle.. but the candle in the middle was a 3 wicked candle which they explained represented the three fold tie in their marriage of Joseph, Bev, and the Lord!! What a nice picture. A wonderful time. I saw other friends as well, Sean and Hailey Cuthill, Matt McLeod and his lovely, very pregnant wife! Ryan McLeod also and Josh and Colleen Mc Faddeon(hmm.. i don't know how to spell their last name!) Also Little Amanda Hicox!! Hey.. she's married and pregnant. I did meet her husband Joel. A very nice fellow.
Well, Dave and I had booked into a hotel with a pool so between the ceremony and the reception we took the kids to McDonalds and then for a swim in the pool. John was not fond of this but Chloe after a little prompting and encouragement enjoyed a good little swim with mom and dad! Dave offered to keep the children in the hotel for the night and put them down to sleep while I caught a ride to the wedding reception with Ross,Leanne, Holly Christy, and Heather-Lynn. It was so nice to catch up with old friends. It had been i believe near 7 years! Thanks for the opportunity Bev! And thanks Dave for being gracious enough to oblige to the whole trip!
The only bad patch we hit in our whole adventure was a snow storm in Newfoundland on our way to the boat.. and thus.. the boat ride over was..hmm.. BRUTAL! hehehe Chloe began the ride by puking on Dave. she didn't take long however to fall asleep after this. Thank the Lord. John.. wouldn't sleep a wink till around 4 am! we arrived in Nova Scotia at 730 am.. so.. needless to say it was a sleepless type night.. he wasn't too quiet about it either.. and mothers... you'll know the feeling of a crying baby in a room full of tired sleeping people isn't the best thing for your relationship with those people! Anyhow.. a stewardess was nice enough to show me to a nursery room with a rocking chair because walking was really hard on such a swaying boat... well let me tell you something i discovered... if you want to be sea sick.. sit in a rocking chair on a stormy sea!! And that i did... John quite contented himself playing on the floor while i took care of that business.. and i soon after found the sleeping daddy and ... plunked john there and fell into my seat.. I don't know how he does it.. but Dave took all of 10 minutes to get that boy to sleep!!! hehe Other than that the weather, travel and children were all wonderful!!! What a trip!